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What you need to know about the newborn stage

Hello and welcome to my blog! If your new here why not follow for more motherhood drama!😊

So If your an expecting parent your probably day dreaming about what being a parent is going to look like and how much your going to love this new precious baby. Well here is what I wish I knew about the newborn stage and what I think you should know!

1) Baby’s eat ALL of the time! I’m not even kidding, I wish I was. My baby would eat every 1-2 hours sometimes 3 if he was sleepy. It was exhausting as you can imagine you’ve just gave birth and your expecting some sort of rest, that does not always happen🙃 i would feed my baby and by the time he was finished and I had changed him and put him back down it was time for him to eat AGAIN. Hang in with those first few weeks mama, you can do it!

TIP; I know this is said a lot of the time but sleep when your baby sleeps! Forget the housework, it can wait you need to be okay so your baby can be okay!

2) Baby’s do just cry I remember sitting on the side of my bed at 3am rocking my screaming baby wondering what in the hell i was doing wrong, I had done everything I could and he still wasn’t happy. I soon learned that babies can just cry. You have to understand that this tiny little human has been in your womb for 9 months safe and sound and now they are in this loud strange world. They have never felt hunger, thirst, cold or any feelings as extreme as what they feel when they are outside your womb! So hold your baby mama, cuddle them and talk to them. I know your exhausted but these are the late nights you will never get back.

Tip; Swaddles and white noise mimics the womb, they are tight in a swaddle just like they are in your womb so that is so comforting to them, the white noise blocks out any background noise and soothes them quickly! Pacifiers/dummy’s also soothes babies as they suck to calm them self’s down!

3) You may not feel that overwhelming love for weeks or even months. When my baby was born I was expecting to fall deeply in love with him, but I didn’t. I was angry because I had a terrible labour with forceps and an episiotomy. I was angry for a few weeks. I thought there was something wrong with me. Turns out it’s completely NORMAL! Your hormones are everywhere. I felt the love and bond when my baby gave me his first ever smile and I sat and cried because I loved this little human so so much!

Tip; breastfeeding is a great way to bond with your baby! Having your baby close is also a great way! If you don’t feel like you’ve bonded with your baby for a couple months, I would definitely go to your GP or speak to your health visitor to rule out post natal depression (which is also normal) don’t worry mama! Your doing a great job!

4) Don’t buy half of the store on baby clothes. Believe me when I say your baby will not wear most of them! I bought so many clothes and now they are in black bags in my loft with tags still on them! I started to realise baby’s grow soo quickly. My baby jumped the 3-6 and went straight to 6-9! yes he is a fatty👶🏼 also the nice outfits you buy will most likely get covered in spit up, urine and poo explosions, yep they don’t stay clean very long.

Tip; buy baby onesies! No fuss and easy to clean! I’m not saying don’t buy nice outfits but I would definitely save them for later on! You really don’t want to get a poo explosion on a baby too-too or fluffy pink dress or dungarees.

5) Keep unwanted guests at bay. After having my baby I almost forgot that I was my baby’s mother and what I said goes. There was people coming in and out my house while I was still in a massive daze from birth and baring in mind I still couldn’t walk from a 4th degree cut. I honestly advice you to only have people over who are going to help you with baby and not people who are there to get a cuddle and leave. I have learned that everyone wants to hold and cuddle a cute baby but, nobody wants to deal with one. Also your baby doesn’t want to be held by anyone but mom! They lived inside you for 9 months! Don’t feel guilty or pressured. Chill with your baby and recover. After all, you are both getting to know each other one step at a time.

Tip; tell family and friends before your labour that you want only people who are going to help! If anyone objects, simply remind them that it’s your baby and to respect your wishes. (I also found locking doors was a good idea for me, abit extreme but it worked)

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Co-sleeping with my baby

Remember when you were pregnant and you were planning everything out on how you would raise your baby and how they would sleep in their crib and not have to sleep in your bed? HA how things change! I was definitely one of those moms. 2 months in and my baby was sleeping next to me and still is at 7 months! But Is it really a bad thing? In my opinion? No.

You see, your baby sleeping next to you actually helps them a lot! Especially in their newborn stage because all they want is there mama! Research has found that co sleeping actually helps babies fall asleep faster and sleep better! Along with you mama as a lot of women including myself report feeling better rested!

Co sleeping makes breastfeeding SOOO much easier! Your baby is literally right next to you! so you can feed your baby in the lying down position! You are relaxed and bonding with your baby which is also increasing your milk supply and milk flow to your baby! Win win!

Research also shows that infants that co sleep have so much better relationships emotionally with their parents and can trust a lot more easily. In my opinion i also think it decreases anxiety for both baby and mama!

Also if you take sleep precautions it actually decreases the chance of SIDS! Now that’s amazing!

Now I’m not saying co sleeping is vital but it was important to me and my baby! Always take precautions when sleeping with your baby! NEVER co sleep if you have been drinking or taking drugs or if you smoke! This can cause fatal consequences.

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My struggles with motherhood

Now starting this blog if you have had a child then you will know the struggle is real. I am going to talk about my struggles and the downs I faced when becoming a mother for the first time. If you like these sorts of blogs please follow for more☺️

Recovering from labour This was a big thing for me, i struggled ALOT! I had to have forceps with my son and for them to get the foreceps in to get him out they needed to give me a forth degree cut. As you can imagine that took FOREVER to heal and I still 7 months on have bruising and a scar that will remain with me. I couldn’t walk for around 2 weeks and if I did it was extremely slowly (I hated having to go to the bathroom) My whole body ached for about a month. It was horrendous to say the least. Now to recover from a baby coming out of your hoo-har and then having to take care of your precious newborn it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done especially if your breastfeeding also. Personally I would rather go through the labour 100 times than the recovery because it is the absolute worst!

Post natal depression. I didn’t actually think I had PND until I realised how angry I was all the time, I was pissed off at how my life has drastically changed, I mean a couple days ago I was watching tv and drawing and texting friends and now? I have a baby attached to me 24/7 and I don’t get any sleep. Then it hit me, I didn’t feel a lot towards my son and this made me feel extremely guilty I knew I loved him and I would protect him with everything I had but I didn’t feel like I was bonding with him and this went on for around 4 months. I kept thinking to myself ‘why is he smiling at my partner and not me!?’ ‘Does he hate me’ luckily all this died down by month 5 and we now have an amazing bond but that time in my life was heartbreaking and If your dealing with this I really urge you to get some help or speak to a trusted friend.

Sleepless nights. Now sleepless nights were horrible the first couple months, I remember literally crying at 3am because I was so exhausted and I just wanted my baby to sleep! If your a mother then you know this feeling! But I was so pissed off and irritated because I had no sleep that it really made me depressed as I spoke about in the last paragraph. It was rough. Looking back I really wish I could have told myself that them sleepless nights were so precious and I was going to miss that, weird right?😂 but I actually miss that a lot.

Breastfeeding/pumping. Even reading this title made me feel anxious. I pumped milk for my baby’s for almost 6 months I had a bad milk supply even though I pumped EVERY 2 hours. My son got 5oz of breast milk a day and that might not seem like a lot but I was giving him something and damn did I work hard for it! It made every drop so precious. Having to pump every 2 hours was hell! Especially just to get 5 oz a day and that was on a good day.

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Story-time: Labour and Delivery

I am writing this blog because I want to get some things off my chest about my traumatic experience with giving birth. If anyone reading this has also had a bad birth please know you are not alone!! And to please talk to someone if you are not doing well emotionally, my messages are ALWAYS open to anyone that needs someone to talk to! You can reach me via Instagram NatalieJayxox or email Nataliesmailes18@icloud.com

So I think it was a couple days before I went into hospital that I went to the bathroom and I had blood when I wiped I was 38 weeks pregnant at this point and absolutely massive! Anyone that has been pregnant knows that the last couple months of pregnancy are just dreadful you just want that baby out of you and fast!

So when I saw the blood I knew labour was approaching, I rang my midwife office and they told me labour was probably close and to keep an eye on contractions. Well on that night at around 11pm I started to get mildish contractions but they quickly got stronger, I did it on my own while everyone slept until 5:30am when I just couldn’t take the pain any longer! I went into hospital and arrived at 6am in absolute agony.

A midwife came to see me and wanted to check and examine me and said I was only 3CM I was so discouraged. She put the contraction and baby heart rate monitor on my belly and said she would be back in 1 hour but to my surprise she was back within half a hour and told me she had to check me again and I was almost 5cm and she also explained that my baby was a little bit distressed so they were going to monitor him closely, I was in so much pain that I don’t think I really knew how bad the situation was.

So I’m contracting and progressing and the midwife came in again and I was 6cm and she told me she wanted to break my waters and get the baby moving because he was getting extremely stressed out, I started to panic, naturally. So they broke my waters and the contractions got even stronger, I didn’t even know they could get stronger! I was screaming like a mad woman at this point and I’m pretty sure I grabbed the midwife because I was in that much pain.

Within 45 minutes I had progressed to 10cm and it was go time! There was just one small problem though, he was too big to come out, which I figured and I had even been told in pregnancy that I could need a c section but at my last prenatal appointment I was told I would be fine and they wanted me to do it vaginally, which was fine at the time! I began to push and push and push and nothing was happening, he had moved down the birth canal a little bit but not as much as he should have.

Within 10 minutes of pushing the room was filled with about 10 different nurses and doctors all looking at my vagina, but trust me you do not care when your in labour. The doctor told me she needed to cut me (an episiotomy) and use fore-ceps I was absolutely terrified. They cut me and used the forceps and I managed to push my baby out with 3 pushes.

When my sweet little baby came out he was bright blue and I honestly prepared myself for the doctors to tell me that he had died, it had been 20 seconds and he still hadn’t cried so I shouted ‘cry baby cry!’ And I started to shake him (not aggressively) and he started to cry! And he opened his big gorgeous eyes and then he was taken away to be checked over and he was fine!!!

I think this experience was the most trauma thing ever and I honestly was prepared for the labour but I was not prepared for the recovery.

Why does nobody tell you about recovering from labour?

Thank you for reading!! Please comment your experience with labour and delivery! I will be posting a blog about recovering from labour and my top tips!

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All about the ‘Joys’ of pregnancy

Hello and welcome to my first ever blog post! My name is Natalie and I would like to share my experiences with everything to do with motherhood so, let’s start with how it all begins, from that first positive pregnancy test to the first, second and third trimester! Hopeing to help any woman who is struggling or is completely In the dark with what to expect! Soo here we go.. (I would also like to add that this will contain miscarriage content and If your going through this right now you may not be emotionally ready to read a blog like this right now)

My partner and I were trying for our baby for 5 months we fell pregnant 4 times out of them 5 months. 3 of those pregnancies sadly did not stick, all chemicals. The heartbreak that fills you when your trying so hard to create a family and then for it to be taken away from you is pain like no other, it is excruciatingly heart wrenching and if you have been through this I am extremely sorry. I remember sinking into depression thinking there was something wrong with me and if your like me then you probably have a lot of friends who were getting pregnant and starting families oblivious that you were struggling but hey it’s no ones fault.

I remember waking up bright and early to take a pregnancy test the fifth cycle month of trying. I was extremely nervous of it being negative but I was also nervous of it being positive with past experiences. So I take the test and it’s laying on the counter top, I have a 3 minute timer on. I sit and wait biting my nails to distract myself telling myself what will be, will be. The timer starts sounding telling me it’s time to check the test, I paused and picked up the test and looking back at me was two bold vibrant pink lines. I gasped and rushed upstairs to tell my partner the amazing news baring in mind it was five o’clock in the morning, oooops! I had a feeling this was for real this time.

This pregnancy was extremely different, I felt so many symptoms and morning sickness was the absolute worst thing! (Who knew morning sickness feels like you had a whole bottle of vodka the night before) 5 weeks into my pregnancy I was admitted to hospital for a fluid drip and anti sickness medication with the diagnosis of hyperemesis gravidarum. I was vomiting up to fifty times a day and I physically could not get out of bed, I lost over a stone within 16 weeks and I was already a low weight so this brought me into a underweight BMI. All I could think about was if my baby would survive this, if I was going to survive this meanwhile everyone was telling me to eat ginger biscuits and drink special teas which sorry to burst your bubble it does not work for HG, morning sickness and HG are completely different conditions and if you know someone going through HG please be there for them, it’s a serious condition and the depression that comes with it is awful. I was obviously so sensitive to HCG and my levels of it were extremely high, so high infact the doctor wanted to make sure the cause was not twins as that would explain a lot.

At seven weeks and 6 days pregnant I received my first scan to see if I was indeed having twins, when the ultrasound showed my cute little bean as one baby and not twins I was kind of relieved I mean, I was 19 and one baby was definitely enough! But this was just more of a shock to me that the sickness I was experiencing was HG and it wasn’t going to get any better for a while and all I could do was wait it out and try and get through the days eating what I could but I just wanted to sleep them weeks away which I basically did until my second trimester at 16 weeks when I felt some sort of relief! I was not vomiting anymore but I still felt not so great and I still could not swallow my sickness medication (do you know the medication tastes absolutely disgusting? I mean come on you are giving this to pregnant sick women jeeez) The fact that I was going to find out the sex of my sweet baby made things a lot better.

The unconditional love just flowed through me as I was told my baby was a baby boy (just what I was hoping for) all of the sickness suddenly felt worth it and I was preparing for my baby boys arrival, buying him clothes and blankets and thinking about what his name would be! (You do not know how hard it is to pick a name until it’s for your new baby!) the rest of my second trimester was amazing! By week 20 the sickness was completely gone! I could actually eat food which was weird at first but boy did I make up for all them pounds lost! The thing with loosing a lot of weight is that when you start and eat normally you will pile it back on and probably a lot more than you originally thought, 17 pounds lost, 20 pounds gained! I felt absolutely huge but I really did not care I would choose weight gain over hyperemesis gravidarum any day!

OH MY GOD, I NEED TO PEE ALL THE TIME! IF SOMETHING FALLS ON THE FLOOR ITS DEAD TO ME! I was absolutely massive at this point I was properly weighing another 10 pounds. I could not sleep because my baby who was once the size of a blueberry is now the size of a watermelon kicking and punching my ribs, I had a very active little boy, cute right? Not to woman carrying this giant baby and fluid (that was a joke, he was still cute) I remember just wanting this baby out of me the next five to six weeks we’re the longest weeks of my life I couldn’t see my feet and oh can we just talk about people mentioning how big you are every 5 minutes? Annoying right? The rage inside me was real I wanted to punch people.

At 38 weeks I had some blood when I went to the bathroom I started freaking out and rang my midwife who told me it was called a show and Labour was most likely imminent! That night I started getting strong contractions I managed on my own for 10 hours and then I needed some sort of relief so I demanded to be seen (as you do lol oops) and I was 4cm and was admitted, 2 hours and 20 minutes later with an episiotomy and foreceps my baby boy was delivered safe and sound and we named him Noah-Jaye!

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What I wish I knew about breastfeeding

I am writing this blog because I really want to help and hopefully relate to other women out their struggling with this issue. So please comment and like this blog and let me know your struggles, maybe we can be friends! 🙂

Breastfeeding was always on my agenda since I found out I was pregnant I mean the benefits of liquid gold is like no other! It fights illnesses your baby might pick up, it boosts intelligence and did you know that 1 teaspoon of breast milk has 3,000,000 antibodies to keep your baby healthy and free from illness and germs? It’s absolutely incredible and so this naturally made me want this more.

So here we go, these are things I wish I had known about breastfeeding.

PUMPING YOUR BREAST MILK I really wish I had known to buy a breast pump to take to hospital with me to stimulate milk production it probably would have saved my supply, so if you didn’t know buy a pump I mean just in case!

BREASTFEEDING HURTS! I was always told by lactation consultants that if breastfeeding hurts, your latch is wrong. FALSE! The first week is the worst! You have to think your nipples are not used to being sucked on at such force and they have to get used to it and other terms ‘harden up’ but that first week is HELL.

BREASTFEEDING IS SO TIME CONSUMING! You literally have to pump or feed every 2-3 hours and that is actually being generous because if your baby wants to cluster feed it can be every hour around the clock and that is exhausting and oh my god I wanted to scream so bad!

BREASTFEEDING IS SO REWARDING! Even though there is so many hard and exhausting things to breastfeeding. It was the best and most rewarding achievement I have ever accomplished and whether you breastfeed for one month or one year, you have your baby the best start and even if you didn’t breastfeed, you’r still a bad ass mom!

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All about motherhood!